The example of Jackie Pullinger

A couple of nights ago I saw a documentary on Jackie Pullinger an inexperienced 22 year old girl who wanted to be a missionary climbed on a boat and asked to Lord to show her what stop to get off. The seeming complete lack of wisdom in the whole enterprise came when she believed it was her destiny to work amongst the violent gangs of drug pushers and pimps in. Hong Kong's walled city. The fact that she didn't know a word of their language and was completely unfamiliar with their culture meant that it was from any natural perspective a totally stupid thing to do. But she has proved to be, over the past 40 years the most effective missionary from the UK in modern times. Helping mulitutdes of hopeless cases to break free from Heroin addiction without the help of medication and professional techniques she has been effective where government, trained police and percieved wisdom have failed. The sole differing factor is her faith in Jesus Christ.

This situation gives me hope. Should I go to the Phillippines in November? If God is calling me why shouldn't I? It encourages me to aim high where God leads me and let me have the grand privelidge of being a tool in his hands.

Disabled?

Two years ago I was diagnosed with a condition called Early Onset Parkinsonism that can make large parts of my body especially my right hand side seize up and become ineffective. In hindsight I believe I have had that condition all my life as I have always felt clumsy and uncoordinated and many skills other people take for granted such as driving are probably beyond me. It is embarassing because I want to appear normal and together in social situations but it can often be very difficult and tire me out.

But I percieve that there are advantages to this. Firstly, it helps me to prioritise. In the past I wasted my time on a lot of needless things, but because everything can take longer there is less room for such 'baggage'. Secondly, it slows me down even as the world rushes madly for no particular reason. Today I was able to appreciate all the blessings of my life. It causes me to consider the words of David the Psalmist 'that I am fearfully and wonderfully made'. One or two bits of my body are slightly below par but still amazing whereas other parts are simply wonderful. Yes, I may have a few small disabilities but an amazing number of abilities.

Beyond Dover Beach

I suppose in believing in an interventionist God I am a kind of inverted rebel. I have just watched a programme on BBCi player that focused on Dover Beach by Matthew Arnold where he speaks what at that time would have been the unspeakable. He is perhaps the first man of his era to formally deny the existence of God. But what kind of god was he denying, was it the concept of God widely held in the man made order of the Victorian era. A god believed in by the establishment- a mark of respectability? The fact remains that Jesus never favoured the established order and for this reason wasn't what was expected. Yes, he was for the most part law abiding but these were not the laws that he had personally created. He existed largely to point people beyond this temporary order to a new, contrasting, permanent one

Jesus's kingdom was not of this world

A rock amidst the turmoil of existence.

The world we live in is not an easy one. The writer George Orwell once commented that, on balance, the hard aspects of life tend to outweigh the pleasurable ones. Certainly there is an immensity of heartache and heartbreak in the world and frequently when I hear much of what is going on I can only shudder and sigh. I am thankful that in the light of this I can have faith in a God who in the Authorised King James version of the Bible is described as being 'without variation or shadow of turning'. In a world of such uncertainty, sorrow and fear it is good to know that 'Underneath are the Everlasting Arms'

Singleness

In recent times a lot of people have commented on my still being single. At times this can be difficult especially as I have been surrounded by couples who are younger than me. I have little doubt that people want and mean the best. Personally, however, I am not in a massive rush. There is a time and a season for everything and I love my freedom. I am also flattered at the many friends I have and the many activities that I can enter into. But I feel it has to be the right person and somehow I know that the right person is there - not because I deserve them - but because I am loved and blessed.

There is one interesting phenomena that I have noticed in recent times and this is that we can't control the way people think about us. One day I might share with a group of people what is really on my heart and, completely unexpectedly people might say 'That's wonderful Jeremy - you really encouraged us!'. As a result I might decide to polish the whole think and practice in front of the mirror and get it all 'word perfect' only to recieve no real response. It is somewhat disheartening and humbling but it keeps me in my place. The knowledge that I am loved is comfort enough.